The

Evening

Party
Filed under — 
JOURNAL


FEEL SIMULTANEOUSLY


Fig.XX — OCTOBER
(2019)





SAINT AGATHA  Raphael Vergos, circa 1500

Dearest R[…]


hard to decide which words to write down as I have no confidence in the post anymore & don’t know whether this will arrive before, during or after my visit — you know how I am, absent-minded & prone to repeating things so I wouldn’t want to do that AGAIN and in writing, too.

I guess cards are mostly for stating the obvious in any case — I’m looking forward to my visit a great deal, and am so glad to be seeing you in just over a week, I hope you’ve had many good days when this arrives, regardless of when that is — you were so down last night & I don’t know the particular details but I could really feel it. Always wishing you all the happiness & love & sun in the world because I care. LOVE H[…]
P O S T C A R D


Dear R[…],

years ago you gave me a book in which you wrote “please do not underestimate the gesture of me giving you this book.” I guess something similar would be in place here — I’ve almost cursed myself for promising you a copy of this, it feels almost too intensely personal and intimate.

It’s none of my business really, but I personally read these poems here & there, flicking through, looking for nothing in particular. Hope you can find something that resonates with you when doing something similar (no, really, read it however you want). If you don’t, don’t tell me, I already feel like I’m baring a little bit too much. Don’t underestimate the meaning of that.

Happy birthday.
Love H[…]
I N S C R I P T I O N


UNTITLED Louise Bourgeois, 2005




Dear R[…],

endless thank you’s for letting me stay with you this (extended) weekend & for making me feel simultaneously so happy and so gloomy.

The latter of course relates to the fact that I don’t know what you’re doing to me & despite it being nice I am also horrified because I am not supposed to have a crush on anybody or to feel anything beyond friendship for anyone.

But I guess what you said about not being able to choose who you like holds true sometimes. I should probably feel awkward & ashamed for writing this down & making myself even more “vulnerable” (i HATE it generally) but I really don’t care. Whatever!

Love H[…]
N O T E   L E F T   O N   M Y   C O F F E E   T A B L E


The Stairs of Czesław Miłosz

Dearest R[…],

I’m really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really looking forward to seeing you again. You’re on my mind almost constantly.

x H
P O S T C A R D




— a collection of writings, poems and stories by the anonymous author

︎  t w i t t e r
︎  i n s t a g r a m
︎  e - m a i l

UNLESS NOTED OTHERWISE, ALL PHOTOGRAPHS ARE TAKEN BY THE AUTHOR

Ah, we’re an ungrateful race! When I look at my hand upon the window sill and think what pleasure I’ve had in it, how it’s touched silk and pottery and hot walls, laid itself flat upon wet grass or sun-baked, let the Atlantic spurt through its fingers, snapped blue bells and daffodils, plucked ripe plums, never for a second since I was born ceased to tell me of hot and cold, damp or dryness, I’m amazed that I should use this wonderful composition of flesh and nerve to write the abuse of life. Yet that’s what we do. Come to think of it, literature is the record of our discontent.

T H E   E V E N I N G   P A R T Y  Virgina Woolf